How did this all start?
It started in August of 2007. It was the last night of a 10 week long missions trip all over America and included 2 weeks in Puerto Rico. There was a slight rift earlier that day, which resulted in my
pre-determined accommodation of never going solo with a host family going unnoticed.
The host couple was very kind, very open to my introverted nature.
I went to bed at a decent time and attempted to sleep.
Attempted.
A great darkness, an unholy being, loomed over the doorway of the room I slept in and left me in a state of what general physicians would call "sleep paralysis." Fear coursed through my soul as I closed my eyes in this dream state, looking away from the darkness.
I couldn't move, couldn't scream. I couldn't wake up.
But I knew my body was still asleep while I was being held in this paralyzed state.
The only solace I had was prayer. Being in the non-denominational ministry, I didn't and forgot to rely on formal Catholic prayers, which barely kept the fear from consuming me. Then the demon released me and I woke up. It had me for only an hour and a half. But I felt like I was fighting the whole night.
I fell back asleep and didn't wake up again until my alarm went off.
At the time, I didn't know what I was seeing.
In my following years of Spiritual growth, I had learned that what attacked me that night was very very real. It also wasn't the last time I'd see something of their kind.
Fast forward 5 years later.
I've been involved with high school youth ministry for a good chunk of time since then.
I met quite a few people and had a few developing charismatic experiences and gifts. The main two being the Gift of Mercy (recognizing suffering) and Gift of Tongues.
I struggled with finding my role in life, in ministry, and in what The Lord was asking me to do. The so-called "sleep paralysis" happened occasionally, but none as terrifying as the original experience.
Around January of 2012, the "sleep paralysis" occurrences picked up in frequency. I knew that it was from an external source, no more of this general physician bullshit. It was real now.
I went to see a spiritual healer, the brother of a priest that I knew during a healing mass. And it was revealed to me that two members of my family had practiced in the occult, the Ouiji board. A seemingly harmless device that opens doors that can't close and allows things to come through to attach themselves to people. I was next of kin, so these attacks hurt me too.
I tell my mom, who tells me to just pray, but she says it out of fear. I feel as if she doesn't accept that I know what's going on through supernatural means. It leaves me alone for about a year, still occasionally "poking" me while I sleep.
A year later.
During praise and worship at my parish's high school retreat, a friend and I found ourselves slain in the spirit and seeing the same thing. We both saw the dome of light covering the building above us during the praise and worship and, right where we were laying, the weak spot that God had allowed to shine through. She and I became intercessors for the kids that night and fought throughout the entirety of prayer as demons and unholy spirits tried to enter.
Allowing the Holy Spirit to use me as its vessel begins to make its mark. I can barely stand after an encounter with the Holy Spirit. I was sweating, exhausted, and shaking from the spiritual energy running through my soul.
BYA 22
Bayou Awakening 22 marked a specific point in my gift that I like to call "God shoved this in my face because He knew I was ready and was willing to work for Him."
I was praying during adoration for the other retreatants and, as such with my gift, was praying in tongues and about to be slain in the spirit. My eyes were closed, I was half down.
Then my spiritual vision turned black and a pair of eyes stared at me, enough to startle me out of prayer.
I felt, rather than heard, an exclamation of unholy joy exclaiming, "good, we got her distracted."
When adoration was over, I could still feel them, the "demons" as I began calling them, around the main meeting hall.
The priest present on retreat was doing confession in a small room off to the side, and they swarmed around that area. Outside of the main room, lurking in the woods and on the other side of the glass. 30 seconds before absolution, I felt them fleeing the area.
Then the girl walked out, confirming my "crazy" thought.
I could see demons.
I spoke with Father soon after, who recommended me to speak with a priest at the Catholic Charismatic Center in Houston.
Currently..
Since that night, I haven't slept well.
I wake up a few times in the night, refusing to check the time, because the moments that I'm attacked feel like hours in the mere thirty minutes to an hour that it occurs.I've felt a pressure in the palms of my hands and the middle of my feet. As if someone was touching me, but there is no sensation of touch. When I met with Fr David almost 2 weeks later, he explained to me that it's a mocking of Christ on the cross. If God really wanted me to have stigmata, he would've given it to me.
He also explained that demon infestations are normally isolated incidents, and that the time period verified the fact that this was a true gift. That God would never give me more than I can handle and that He allows these things to happen, allows evil access to us to shape and mold us.
He also mentioned that, since my sister had recently (at the time) entered into Adult Confirmation classes, I may be her intercessor for the demon that previously tormented her. In the same way, Moses was the intercessor for the people of Israel.
May the Lord continue to guide me, for my strength is not my own.
I pray for protection for whoever reads this, may their eyes be opened and their hearts guarded.
