When the word contraception and birth control became the common names for hormonal therapy, my faith became a lie. I lived for life, to fight as a Pro-Life advocate in a world where women are seen as baby-killers and lauded as the hypocrites of this generation.
Sex this. Fuck that. Live for this. Forget that.

Then I had a cyst. A ruptured one, in fact. The day I first started taking birth control, I cried. This medication that I was given, that was keeping me well, was against my own moral of being open to life. Everything I was taught since the time of my birth became the biggest lie my faith had ever taught me.

I'm not sure why God made me this way. I wanted to be open to life, open to love, and open to His will. Now.....I have to make peace with the fact that I can never allow God's will to allow life to grow inside me.

Because God made me this way.